This will be Hollie’s blog primarily however I wanted to share a bit about how I have seen this unfold and some of the feelings I have had around my view of Gabe and his fight to push forward.
Our Doctor at the time kept telling us that it was cute that Gabe scooted on his butt and he would grow out of it soon. It got to the point where I just couldn't stand hearing the same old thing again so I had a heart to heart with our doctor. I told him that I knew he was not thinking about Gabe after hours, I knew he looked at his chart a few minutes before meeting with us and really just didn’t care more than bringing us in and getting us out. I told him we needed a doctor that would think about Gabe when we weren’t there and figure out how to help him push forward or we would be going elsewhere.
At this point I feel like things really began to move. Gabe was given lots of tests and concluded he had poor eye sight, low muscle tone, chronic ear infections and was most likely apraxic. After receiving tubes in his ears and glasses he began walking about 2 days later... At this point I almost went and slashed the tires of the doctors we had been dealing with but was thankful to get him walking and seeing better.
This is when we really began to understand that this would be a long haul of therapy and accepting that our child had a disability. I would tell myself and others that he would grow out of this soon and he is just like any other boy his age. I wanted to just deny the fact that there were things he may struggle with long term... I wanted to fix him and this situation so no one would ever associate him with a disability. I feared that he may be ridiculed in school and kids may call him a retard if he didn’t speak well. My heart broke thinking that I at one time in the past would have done the same to a kid in my early years (Jr. High).
One day I took Xander and Gabe to the Apple store at the Gateway to get a macbook.... it was a madhouse of people and craziness. Xander and Gabe were fighting and running around the store and I just wanted to get out of there but had to wait for someone to come and sell me the machine. I was standing by a person for a few minutes and once I got the boys to settle down I was talking with Gabe... he was responding with babble and grunts... the lady asked me if he was retarded. I looked at her for about 30 seconds, grit my teeth and clenched my fists and said “why would you say that?”. It was clear that I didn’t want a response and I just shook my head at her, mumbled a few horrible words and walked away.
I met up with Hollie about 15 minutes later at the food court... when I told Hollie what had happened I broke down and cried. I thought if this is what Gabe has to look forward to I am going to end up in jail for seriously mangling someone and I can’t allow Gabe to ever be mocked like that. Luckily Gabe was only about 2 years old so he didn’t understand any of this interaction.
Since that moment I have been outside my mind determined to put this overwhelming energy to educating his family and helping him overcome his disability. We have had him in speech therapy for 2 1/2 years and we are now getting prepared to send him to a Montessori school once he gets into 1st grade. Hollie and I have become speech and hearing experts and have joined some support groups to help us work through this. We are also beginning to raise money by selling things on Ebay and KSL for people that have things they would normally be taking to the DI or throwing away. We are also arranging a race that I hope to put on each year to raise money to help pay for therapy and his schooling.
Hollie and I have really come together to work as a team to help Gabe and enable him to find his voice. He progresses every day and in my heart of hearts I know he will have a productive life, touch many people and serve the lord in ways that us “normal” people cannot. I think back to my time in Colombia and learning the spanish language. Debate this or not I was a smart capable person that when not able to speak or communicate effectively was treated like a dummy. People would not speak to me unless I forced them to because they couldn't understand me... I became obsessed with learning that language and dang near beat people up to speak to me thus helping me learn and progress much faster than what was considered normal. This is what we are trying to pass on to Gabey. We want to speak his heart out even if it is not totally understandable and people may have to strain to get it. We want to see him be confident in his ability to learn and grow over this trial and show himself and the world that nothing can keep him down.
Other than his speech he is just like any other boy his age. He burps, farts, plays, fights, even reads, flirts with girls, reasons, learns new things and interacts well with others..... He just can’t speak completely and we are working on that!
I am proud of my Gabey and know that with the help of our Heavenly Father and the village that surrounds us he will overcome this and get the last laugh!
Thank you for reading this post. Our family will remember forever who helps us and will hold a special place in our hearts forever.
